Given that words form just seven percent of communication, you’d have to wish that the King had a bit more in his locker if he wanted to take anyone’s heart away. Confound it, then! Confound it all to hades and beyond! So if it’s not just words, how are we to navigate and negotiate the not always ‘hearts and roses’ realm of relationships and love. To further complicate matters, the very ‘language of love’ each of us employs to show and receive love could be very different from what our partners use. Moreover, we tend to communicate our feelings to our lovers in the language we’d like to receive love in, and this language may not be the language that they understand.
That’s exactly what the bestseller The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman expounds, and goes on to explain how there are five languages to give and receive love and affection. At least one of languages, in confluence with the other four, will ensure that you communicate how you truly feel, in a language or manner which your partner completely understands.
Now, let’s drop the veil of intrigue and get right to the five languages, shall we? Here they are:
Words of affirmation
Turns out words aren’t utterly useless after all! In truth, it’s those special words that hit the spot, quite unlike any other. Nothing mindblowing, just stuff like, ‘I love you’ and ‘I appreciate how you did XYZ’ will make this language work. The key here is to make it less mechanical and to attach some reasons for the expression.
You’d need to put that phone down and turn that screen off if you’d have to put this language to work. Providing undivided attention, adhering to preset dates, and regular family times will positively reinforce the fact that your partner is truly exalted and valued above everyone and everything else that’s crying out for attention in your world.
A thoughtful and well-timed gift could perk up your loved one’s spirits or even make their week! It goes well beyond the materialistic (so don’t unnecessarily throw money at it) and has more to do with having your partner on your mind and going to the trouble to translate that thought into the reality. It’s a gesture to cherish through the ages and then some.
Acts of service
Being expressly told how special they are or how much their partner loves them just won’t do the job for some folks. They need to be shown how much they are loved and appreciated instead. This can be done effectively by sharing responsibilities or chores, doing something to lessen their workload, or by simply doing something considerate.
Physical intimacy is another language which is considered second to none to some partners. The tactile approach isn’t only limited to your private boudoir escapades but extends to envelop handholding, some PDA and pretty much anything else that both of you are comfortable with.
Well, now that you’ve been suitably schooled in the five languages of love, find out which one your partner speaks, and get the conversation going!