One may think that insecurities arise from a partner’s behavior, attributes, or actions. But the truth is, insecurity is internal – our own sense of self gives rise to it. Read on to find out how you can learn more about your insecurities and how you can handle them better:
Remind yourself of your worth
Insecurity in relationships often stems from a lack of self-worth and self-esteem. When you feel like you are not enough for your partner, or they might end up liking someone else if you slip up, you need to hit pause to your thoughts. You have to remind yourself of all that you bring to the relationship – good looks and money aside. Maybe, you are funny and always manage to cheer your partner up. Maybe, you are trustworthy – you keep sensitive conversations within the relationship and respect your partner’s privacy at all costs. You need to focus on all the things you bring to the relationship, and not on imaginary fears about what you do not.
Create a fulfilling life outside of the relationship
When we make a relationship our entire world, we end up scrutinizing it and overthinking every aspect of it. And thus, any fear or threat of losing our partner feels like the end of the world. That is why we must learn to be functional individuals outside of our relationships – no matter how loving, wonderful, or amazing they may be. You need to see yourself as a whole person first – and a partner second. Keep in touch with your friends, give your best to your career or studies, and engage in hobbies by yourself. Being independent can also mean establishing financial independence.
Have trust in yourself
Lack of trust in ourselves is another thing that makes centering our existence around a relationship worse. You need to have belief in yourself that if this relationship comes to an end, you can take care of yourself. Even though it will hurt, you will go on with your life and find happiness. Trust yourself to make sure your needs are met, and that the relationship remains fulfilling in more ways than one. Trust yourself to leave or take a stand when you feel things are not right.
Do not bring the past into the present
When we’ve had a few bad relationships in the past, we tend to see our present ones through that lens only. But it is very important to understand that your current partner is a separate individual, and the previous ones have no bearing on this one. By dwelling on the past, you are not giving your partner or even yourself a fair chance. Which means you are limiting your present from giving you all the wonderful things it can – because you are carrying fear from the past.
Be confident about your partner
A lot of times, our insecurities arise from what we fear other people might think of our partner or our relationship. Maybe our partner is not conventionally attractive, does not fit the expectations our parents might have, etc. By letting these fears overpower us, we often forget why we fell for them in the first place. Remind yourself why you like being with that person. At the end of the day, only you two are in the relationship – and not the entire world. So, take the opinions of others with a pinch of salt.
Let your partner in on your thoughts
Do not become closed off when you are feeling troubled and insecure. Let your partner know how you are feeling so that you two can pool in your resources and try to understand the issue better. Remember, you two make a team. And that means that it is the both of you against a problem. Opening up about things like these can be difficult and stressful, but it is always worth it.
If you are feeling insecure in a relationship, it is time you do some self-reflection. Have a clear mind and try to get to the root of your issues. You can take the help of a professional, like a therapist, to help you along this journey.