Have you been arguing with your partner over money? If yes, you know how unpleasant it can be. Financial disagreements can quickly escalate into conflicts and disturb the harmony in your home.
Financial habits are deep-rooted into our personalities and often come from the way we were brought up. For instance, a person who comes from a modest family is likely to be extra mindful about spending money. When two people belonging to different families and backgrounds come together, disagreements are natural. However, there are ways to work around them and reach a neutral ground.
Share your financial situation
The biggest mistake you can make in a relationship is to hide the details of your financial situation. Although you may feel it is too personal to share, hiding this information can affect your relationship. Your partner may feel cheated and lose trust if she gets to know about it at a later stage.
Open different bank accounts
While it is legit to have your accounts, you may consider opening a joint account for the common expenses. For instance, if you live together or are married, you can use this account to pay for your utility bills and household expenses. You can both decide a day and add money to this account and contribute equally.
Consider a prenuptial agreement
In today’s time, a prenuptial agreement is no longer a taboo subject. You can consider it as your security cover that will protect you if the relationship doesn’t work out in the future. It becomes all the more crucial if you know your partner has a significant debt to repay. A prenuptial agreement will relieve you from any obligations to repay the debt if your marriage doesn’t work out.
Make a budget
Most financial arguments happen because partners do not see eye to eye on certain expenses. For instance, one person’s expenses may be beyond the other person’s comprehension. To avoid such situations, you can mutually decide a monthly budget. Having a budget will allow you to look at facts and eliminate assumptions from your arguments. Make sure that there is enough room for discretionary expenses. Every person needs space and the ability to spend without answering anyone.
Try to understand the other person
Just as you accept your partner with all the flaws, try to understand the reasons for your partner’s money behavior. More often than not, there is a spender and a saver in a relationship. The spender may feel stifled at every stare or glance when she wants to buy something new. The saver, on the other hand, may not understand the need to spend frequently. You may think the arguments would be about pricey purchases. However, it is the little expenditures that often blow up into big fights. To avoid such situations, try to accept the other person’s money personality. It is best to work out a mutually accepted behavior.
Become a team
Look at your finances like you would treat other household decisions. Instead of using words like ‘mine’ and ‘yours’, try to use ‘ours’. If it works out for you as a couple, make one person responsible for expenses while the other person can handle the savings and investments. If it doesn’t, you can change your roles every month. To come to a common ground, you can have a money date where you can discuss your money matters. If you feel things are getting heated up, choose to leave for coffee or go to the movies. You can also decide to bring up the money issues only on this date to avoid frequent rows.
Choose a financial advisor
If you are are not satisfied with your investment choices, you can always take the help of a professional. Financial advisors are certified in their jobs and suggest various options for investing your hard-earned money. There are more chances of coming to a consensus when a third, neutral party offers suggestions.
Take professional help
If you find yourself having the same arguments time and again, you can consider taking professional help. Psychologists can suggest useful ways to break out of this pattern. Moreover, they can help you with the communication issues that you can use in other aspects of life.