Ladies, it’s time to get on top and demand your right to orgasm
Of course, there are far more pressing issues for the womankind than the pleasure gap in the bedroom. But you can’t deny the importance of sexuality in human experience. And while you undergo painful bikini waxes and heck, even wearing those painful stilettos just to look sexy, don’t you deserve some sort of gratification? Sample this: According to research by Kinsey Institute, “only 64% of women surveyed admitted to having an orgasm while another survey by a publication revealed that only 57% of women climax regularly with a partner in heterosexual sex.” Meanwhile, Lesbians show a much better rate at 75%, according to a study conducted in 2014 and published in Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Fortunately though, over the last one decade, there has been more dialogue about this right that puts the fun in fundamental. The firebrand rapper Nicki Minaj proclaimed, “I demand that I climax. I think women should…” The quirky comedian Amy Schumer preached, “Make sure he knows that you are entitled to an orgasm.”
Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall dedicated her 2002 book to the art of climaxing and the skill required by a man. She says, “I believe that a man should know how to make a woman experience an orgasm until she is truly satisfied.”
The rev-ahhh-lutionary list doesn’t end there. Halle Berry, Queen Bey, Zoe Saldana, Eva Longoria, Rashida Jones, Margaret Cho, Amy Poehler have all been vocal about this.
Orgasm, as mansplained through centuries
Among the stars who really got to the root of the problem was Lizzy Caplan, who in an interview, took on the Freudian view of female sexuality. The psychologist had theorized that women have clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms, out of which the former had developmental issues. And as Caplan rightly points out, “women, for centuries, held themselves responsible for not having an orgasm.”
Add to that the centuries of sexual suppression that women have endured through shaming and taboo of sex being pleasurable to a woman. Then comes the German scientist Ernst Gräfenberg with his theory of G-spot. He claimed to have discovered “an erotic zone” that was sure to get the woman moaning. And the G-spot as you know has been one of the most popularly searched items on the treasure hunt called human sexuality.
Thankfully though, the work of Masters and Johnson research team, with William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson that makes women’s elusive orgasms become less mysterious, is gaining popularity (take for instance the fact that there is show on it–Masters of Sex. It was this research that explored the complexities of human sexuality, figured that each woman’s body is different, and established that women are capable of having multiple orgasms, unlike their male counterparts (Yup, you heard that right, ladies!)
Oh, the years and years of faking
Besides having trouble understanding our bodies thanks to the deep-rooted shame and insecurities as well as the orgasm being mansplained through centuries.
According to a study published last year in the Journal of Sex Research, “ sixty percent of women claim to have faked an orgasm while only 20 percent of men believe that their partners could fake it. Some gap that, eh?
Most studies found that women fake it to keep their partners happy. But as much as we are pleasers, one 2010 study published in the Journal of Sex Research (Vol. 47, No. 6), points out that most faking happens when women are expected to orgasm without external clitoral stimulation.
But Erin B. Cooper, who as a clinical psychology doctoral student presented her paper at the 2010 APA convention, said, “faking isn’t too bad after all.” Stating that “faking helped women get rid of their insecurities,” she clinched, “Some women may fake it ’til they make it.”
But the very fact that orgasms have gone from being hush-hush conversations between girlfriends and features in women’s magazines to scientists’ desks is a reason to celebrate. And we kept the good news from all the studies for the icing. In most studies, about 80 percent of the men have admitted that they want their women to have orgasm. So, ladies– it’s time for you to shed those inhibitions, understand your beautifully complex bodies, and stand up for your rights.
– By Samyuktha K