To us, women, or any other intelligent life-form, the inner workings of the male human brain can indeed appear to be weird and wonderful at once. While we definitely lack insight into what exactly goes inside their noggins, their language does betray us to a certain extent. So, join us in our quest to understand ‘manspeak’, and thereby try to understand the difference between ‘what it may look’ and ‘what it may actually be.’
Don’t we know it; it can get really annoying listening to a man relate an incident because he doesn’t fill it with as much detail as we may want him to. We’re quite the opposite – we like to pad it out and give it more background and context to make it more rounded and complete. When a man doesn’t do this, we erroneously mistake it for lack of interest in the subject. He, on the other hand, focuses on the nub of the issue, as that may be the only thing that seem to matter to him. So, take his sentence and assume it to be a story.
From a man’s point of view, we may seem to yammer on endlessly, especially when he’s engrossed in his football game, or fixing his car and such. While we expect him to be able to concentrate on whatever he’s doing, we also want his full attention. And what we do we get? His far-from-appealing utterances or uninterested quips, which are clearly not what he really thinks on the subject you are ‘discussing.’ They are in fact a ‘verbal swat.’ Therefore, next time you want to know his “actual” opinion, save important discussions for when you’ve got him all to yourself.
“I’m not angry; I’m simply disappointed; or little angry maybe.” Sounds familiar? Admit– it does! We have our boxes of emotions that we keep confusing with. Men are no different. They can be lost in their own ways. We may sometimes find them less expressive, less emotional, and a lot guarded. But then perhaps all it could be is some misplaced emotions. The times when he doesn’t know what he is feeling and attributes it to a different emotion. For instance, grief may be initially expressed as frustration or anger. To us, it’s all very confusing and infuriating. However, don’t hasten to act on it, give him some time to sort himself out, and the truth will eventually emerge.
When he says nothing at all
I’m sure you find him crestfallen and dejected now and again, but he still won’t talk about it, or will simply limit it to monosyllables. He may even withdraw into a private space. While you may mistake this for a barrier he has put up between the both of you, it might just be his need to understand the matter or his emotions before he can express those to you. In times like this, let him ride it out and tell you about it in his own time. Just let him know that you are there for him.
Now, we do hope this piece helps you gain some insight into the whys and wherefores of his ‘manspeak’, and helps you better understand this strange and wonderful creature that’s oh so dear to us.