Are you having difficulty in trusting your partner? If so, it is time you sat down and figure out what’s going on. Lack of trust can have a huge impact on your relationship, cause further issues, and even lead to a breakup. The reasons for this situation vary from person, and thus so do the things that prove to be effective in solving it. Keeping that in mind, here’s a general guide about how to go about dealing with trust issues.
Refrain from checking their activities
Snooping around, looking through their stuff, or asking for their phone instead of trusting them are all signs of an unhealthy relationship. We understand that it can be scary to trust your partner or to see them go out without you knowing all about it. But once you begin to place trust in a person who deserves it – you will automatically find it to be easier and easier. When you employ suspicion when entering into a situation, anything you come across will also seem suspicious. So, give your partner the benefit of doubt, and moreover, be willing to place trust in them.
Simple conversations go a long way
Learn to have a conversation with your partner in a nonintrusive way. If they are going out and you are worried about it, ask when or what they are going out for. By asking such questions in a friendly and approachable manner, you do not give any reason for the other person to get defensive, either. Hear what your partner has to say patiently, and be okay with not having control over every aspect of their day. If you start attacking or insinuating things through such a talk, your partner may become unwilling to share information with you the next time around.
Avoid blame games
When we find something fishy or odd in the other person’s behavior, it is important to note that blaming them outrightly can amount to no good. Thus, the better and more mature option is to go about it by stating your concern – and giving them a chance to express what they have to say about it. If your partner has been coming home later than usual these days, and you find it odd, ask them about it, but steer clear of placing any blame. “You’ve been coming home a bit late than usual, is everything alright?” sounds and works way better than “You arrive late every day and I can’t help but feel you are hiding something from me.”
Don’t let past hurt come in your way today
Many times, after a hurtful breakup, we take the things that hurt most from it to guide us in our next relationship. So, we may begin to he extra careful or suspicious of our partner this time around. But such behavior is unfair to our current partner – they have not cheated on us, and imparting such attitude towards them is uncalled for. When big emotions come to you, you have to learn to control them – and not the other way around. If you were the person who cheated or was unfaithful the last time, forgiving yourself for doing so and doing better this time is a better option than guilting yourself about it.
Look into your insecurities
Many times, our own insecurities and feelings of self-worth drive us to be unable to trust our partner. We fear they will leave us or find someone else when we fail to see value in ourselves. Talking to yourself positively and in a kinder manner can work wonders for you. It is a process for sure, so go about it thought by thought. When an unpleasant thought comes into your mind, counter it with a more realistic and positive one.
Trust issues, like any other problem that arises in a relationship, are not the end of the world. The key is to put in sincere efforts and understanding into solving the issue at hand. Avoid jumping to conclusions or character certificates, and truly listen to yourself and your partner to work through this. By doing that, both of you will feel like a team – so, stick together and give it your best!
We all have different reasons for developing trust issues, and moving past them can vastly improve our present relationships.