The ever so elusive orgasms are finally getting their due in popular culture and mainstream dialogue, with many celebrities speaking about women’s Right to Orgasm. While that is heartening, the scientists have been running marathon studies on the trickiest part of the orgasm– how does one achieve it? And therefore, we often read questions in magazines that go on the lines of: “I’m a 24-year-old woman, and I still haven’t had an orgasm. I’m not even sure what happens or what it feels like to know if I am actually getting it.” 

If there is one thing that all the research has establish unanimously then it is this: Orgasm in a man is not difficult to detect since it is usually accompanied by ejaculation. The process is more subjective in women. What it means is that you need to takes things into your own hands, quite literally to experience this transcendental bliss. 

And so we present to you a simple mantra of 3Es to help you climax.


Let’s face it most of us are too embarrassed to even consider masturbating. Why? Because for centuries on, women have been seen as these angels who have no sexual needs. And who defined it? The imagination in some idealistic man’s head. 

It’s time to stop internalizing that absurd notion and to start loving yourself. Explore your body, every nook, and corner of it. For starters, you need to also begin loving what you see in the mirror. Who cares if you don’t look anything like those models in glossy magazines. The fact is– even they don’t. You need to start loving yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally, for you to even dream of achieving orgasms. 

Figure out what turns you on and what titillates you. And most importantly, explore your vagina and clitoris down to every small millimeter, because that is where the mystery of the life lies. Until you know what does the trick for you, you just can not expect your partner to, even though he has the magic wand (*wink wink*).


Once you have explored the ridges and the valleys of your body, you need to keep at it to gain experience in understanding just what does it for you. Remember, every woman is different and so is the experience of the orgasm. You will also soon notice that every orgasm is different and that there are those that electrify your whole system and then there are those that are well, meh. But each experience will take you closer to experiencing it with your partner. 

Next, understand that masturbating and having sex are two different ball games. It gets tricky when you start looking to experience orgasms with your partner. So you may want to have a conversation with your man or your woman about what does it for you. Treat this as dirty talk, if you will, and things will get real hot, real quick.

With experience comes perfection and once you have perfected the art of achieving orgasms while having sex, you will see that the quality of your relationship will change. There is more intimacy, and there is obviously more anticipation for sex from both ends. 


Now, this is the zen level. Once you are comfortable with acing climaxes, you can take it a step further (Yes, you read that right) by edging. This “technique” that has gained popularity over the last couple of years involves you prolonging the state of climax. 

This may sound a lot like Tantric sex. But here’s how it goes. You reach the stage of climaxing and then hold yourself back from finishing off so that the energy builds up over time and you save it until you are ready to enjoy a much more powerful orgasm. This is tricky at first, but a fun experiment to have with yourself or your partner and trust us, by the end of it, you will be screaming ”It’s totally worth it!!!!”

By Samyuktha K

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