We seem to have painted a god-like picture of what a soul mate is. They know everything, they can solve all our problems, and most importantly – there is only one out there for you. And just like the former, the question of whether they exist or not has plagued continues to plague us even after all these centuries. Luckily, there are certain traits that may help you figure out who your soulmate is.

They don’t complete you, they complement you

Maybe you went through life looking for The One. Maybe you’ve always longed for that missing puzzle piece for years. But when this person finally came into your life, you realized how naïve you were. Partners who are healthy for you are not interested in completing you. You know why? Because they already see you as a capable and complete human. They know that you are not a puzzle to be solved. You are you, and that is enough for them. When you are with them, you feel that connection because they understand you, listen to what you have to say, and help you grow into the person you were always meant to become – just like you do for them.


You give yourself permission to be authentic around them


If people were books, we’d have so many editions. One for our friends, one for our family, one for Instagram, and so on and so forth.But there is always the version of us that only we know of. If we are invested enough, we may be able to create a space with another person where we can let them read it. There are countless things about ourselves that we tend to censor around others. But if you are able to let go of all such inhibitions and just be when you are with them, that person might be your soulmate!


There is undeniable chemistry between you two

Even if it had been years since you first met, their smile still makes you go giddy with happiness. The simplest of things feel magical when you are with them. As things change about them – the hair, the features, mannerisms – you still find umpteen reasons to gush about them. If you feel that the excitement and joy they make you feel are not going anywhere, maybe they aren’t, either.


You both are committed to being better

When we label anything – a person, relationship, idea – as perfect, we rob it of the ability to progress, become better. Your soulmate should be someone who understands this concept and readily applies it to themselves as well. They are always looking for ways to improve, grow, and better themselves. The only person they are interested in competing with is the person they were yesterday. Do you know what that means for your relationship?

Both of you will always be looking for ways to be better partners and lovers to each other. How beautiful is knowing no matter how good things are between you two right now, there is always a scope for them to be even better?


There is mutual respect

The word respect has been used mindlessly so many times over that it is difficult to understand what it even means anymore. In the context of soulmates and relationships, respect is all about seeing you for you. Not the potential you harbour, not your past, not what you fail to be. When you are seen by someone for exactly who you are, the kind of safe and nurturing space it builds is like no other. If your partner recognizes your needs, adheres to your boundaries, and accepts you for all that you are or are not – know that they are an absolute keeper.


They root for you, always

Whether it is a new exercise regimen or an entirely new career – they are here to cheer you on. They make sure you believe in yourself at every step, just like they do. As we grow up and learn to see people for who they are and not for who we need them to be, idealized notions about what a soulmate is disintegrated like an ice cube under the sun.